Chapter Five: Past Feelings

Over the past few weeks, Izaya had been debating with himself about how well he and Shizuo had been getting along. Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed being able to get along with him, it's just he could do without past feelings being brought up. One of Izaya Orihara's best kept secrets has always been that since highschool he has had a huge crush on none other than Shizuo Heiwajima. The very man he claimed to hate. He used to tell himself he only felt that way due to the level of interest he had in Shizuo's strength. Although these days such an excuse wouldn't work, he hasn't even seen him display his strength since before he left, well minus having his door kicked down on his first day back.

These last few days have had Izaya thinking about these feelings; he has also been noticing small things. Things like how happy Shizuo is when he is playing with Psyche, how much he smiles now that they don't fight. On occasion, Izaya has found himself wishing that Shizuo was smiling because of him. One of these occasions just happened to be now. "Damn it! I was supposed to have forgotten those feelings!" He held his face in his hands and groaned aloud. "Good thing Shizu-chan took Psyche to the park today, who knows what my mind would cause me to think."

After an hour or two of trying (and failing) to focus on work rather than let his mind wander, Izaya gave up. "I don't think I will be able to get any more work done today. Curse you Shizu-chan, why'd you have to be so attractive?!" Izaya stopped still and blushed a bit, realising he thought that aloud. "Now if he had been here that would have caused an awkward situation" Shaking his head in a futile attempt to remove the blush, Izaya decided to clean around the apartment seeing as he no longer had Namie to clean for him.

Cleaning Psyche's room was the hardest; the boy had quite a lot of toys. "So many toys, then again it's probably my fault for spoiling him so much. ~" After putting the toys away, stacking up the few cd's he had and then vacuuming, Izaya was a little tired. Sitting on the couch, Izaya let his mind wander for a short while. He guessed that he would end up thinking about Shizuo, but he did not expect to think of anything perverse. Yet Izaya found himself thinking just that, he abruptly sat up straight with his face as red as can be. "Well… that was unexpected… dammit why did I think of that?! I went from thinking about a happy, smiling Shizu-chan to thinking about him naked…" He was thankful that he was currently alone in the apartment as the blush staining his face refused to dissipate at all.
Ten or twenty minutes later, Izaya was sitting at his desk attempting to give work another go. He was managing to avoid thinking about the blonde ex-bartender. When he heard his apartment door open, he didn't look up knowing if he looked at Shizuo he would be reminded of earlier. Psyche ran up to him and Izaya placed him on his lap. "Did you have a nice day out? ~" Psyche's face showed he did but he excitedly told Izaya nonetheless, Izaya chuckled when Psyche said they had ice cream, seeing as he knew just how messy his son could be. He quickly looked at Shizuo from the corner of his eye. Shizuo had sat down on the couch and was smiling at the two; Izaya noticed this and inwardly cursed and tried to once again avoid thinking about the ex-bartender.